Setbacks, Curiosity, and the Pursuit of Love

Some days test us harder than others. Setbacks are never easy—and here I am again, feeling like I’ve been pushed a step back.

In the ICU, I had already dealt with the frustration of losing the use of my right arm thanks to an IV placed right in the crook of my elbow. The relief of having it removed didn’t last long—now a medline in my bicep leaks red a day later, tender and restrictive. I can’t even lift my daughter. That loss of simple function puts stress on both my wife and I.

Yet these moments force me to return to what I’ve been writing about lately: the importance of rest, of taking the time to be still. In life, I’ve learned to approach disappointments with a degree of acceptance, but they still sting. It reminds me of an old Chinese idiom: complacency serves the old Gods. I’ve always felt it has a double meaning—old habits demand reformation if we want to make vows to something new. So, what in my life needs to change?

This same question lives in my art. I look at a piece and ask: What needs to shift? How can I make it more meaningful? Is the anatomy in motion correct? How can I bend the rules to deliver a clearer, sharper message? There’s always something I’ve been avoiding, and that avoidance is usually the very thing I need to confront.

Recent reflections—especially from being a father—have convinced me of one truth: curiosity demands we sometimes “mess it up a little” (to borrow Willem Dafoe’s words). My daughter’s unfiltered drive to explore, even at the risk of breaking something, is driven by excitement. In art and life, that same drive often comes from love—a love of discovery, a love of beauty, and the love we hope to give and receive.

A year before my Aunt Janice passed, she wrote on a chalkboard: “I would be silent if I would be loved.” I believe, when she left, she felt all the love that had been hidden over a lifetime. Art, in all its forms, can reveal that love—shining through the noise of our busy lives. So if you read anything today, let it be this: you are loved.

In the end, setbacks are illusions—signposts rather than barriers. A fallen tree across the path doesn’t end the journey; it just asks us to walk around it, perhaps greet it with a smile. All things are temporary and fleeting, but they deserve our respect and gratitude. We may not know why an obstacle appeared, but we keep moving forward for the same reason we started: to find and give love.

Rest and Rejuvenation: Time to Relax

This week, I was on vacation—a rare stretch of hours alone, free from the usual demands. While the artist in me itched to fill that time finishing one or two pieces, I chose instead to take a little space for myself. Between family and house-related tasks, I carved out moments to refuel, and let me tell you—I needed it.

I had forgotten what it feels like to truly get lost in time. To just be. The Merovingian in The Matrix once said, “Ah yes, who has time? But then if we never take time, how can we ever have time?” That line has always stuck with me. As artists, as parents, and even just as individuals, we often feel like our time is owned by others. Whether by deadlines, loved ones, or responsibilities, it’s rare to feel that time is truly ours.

Taking a couple of days to myself, I found a kind of heaven. A morning run followed by a long swim, surrounded by the forest, grounded my feet and cleared my mind. I was alone with the sound of the water and the scent of the trees, and it reminded me of something essential: why I create.

Those moments brought me back to what matters most—the core of who we are. Some might call it the original self, the “face we had before we were born.” Others might see it as the facets of identity that shape us, each one contributing to the whole. For me, it’s both. It’s reconnecting with the part of me that exists outside of the noise, outside of the expectations, and simply is.

Life’s pressures can be transformative. They have the power to turn coal into diamonds—if we let the process unfold. But it can be an unbearable weight without the balance of rest and rejuvenation. Taking that time isn’t just about catching our breath; it’s about remembering why we’re here and rediscovering the motivation to create.

And when we create, not for someone else, but for ourselves, we breathe new life into our work. Rest isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for art, for growth, and for living fully. Let’s take the time to reclaim it.