When My Values Were Dead

“Your values are dead.”

He raised his eyebrows in his unique way, then walked away.

I sat there, confused, staring at my drawing, wondering what I had done wrong. I wasn’t even sure what he meant. I didn’t fully understand what “values” were, at least not in the way he was describing them.

Still, the words stuck with me.

Years later, I find myself thinking about that moment again while carving stone. At the surface level, his comment referred to tonal values — the range between light and dark in a drawing. The darkest tones that graphite can achieve through pressure, or how a 6B pencil can produce far deeper blacks than the HB mechanical pencil I was likely using at the time. When I later asked him about it, he clarified that my drawing lacked contrast. It appeared flat and weak, even though I was carefully trying to distinguish subtle shades within a limited range.

In short, I didn’t have enough depth.

But over time, I’ve come to see that the lesson extended far beyond graphite and paper.

Values, in another sense, refer to truth, beauty, and goodness. They speak to honesty, integrity, kindness, loyalty — the qualities that give depth to a person’s character. Just as a drawing without contrast appears flat, a life without these deeper values can feel similarly hollow.

As I’ve grown, my understanding of this has evolved. The world becomes more complex as time moves forward. What once seemed black and white reveals itself to be layered with nuance and color. Yet, interestingly, this doesn’t diminish the importance of values — it deepens them.

White, after all, is the combination of all colors merged together in fullness. Black, by contrast, is the absence of them. Looking at the world as purely black and white becomes less meaningful when we realize reality is a spectrum. Yet within that spectrum, there remains a need for depth, contrast, and clarity.

Today, I often find myself turning that lens inward.

I wonder whether my art has depth. Whether it reflects something meaningful. Art, in many ways, acts as a lens into the mind of the artist, and then reflects into the mind of the viewer. If there is depth in the life behind the work, perhaps there is depth in the work itself.

To live with strong values today can sometimes feel like an act of quiet audacity. We move forward guided by principles that may not always be popular, especially in a world that often encourages us to move past tradition, authority, or spiritual frameworks. Yet there is something enduring about living according to values that hold us accountable — not because someone is watching, but because we believe they matter.

Our lives are lived from the inside out.

Even when no one sees, we shape who we are. And that shaping inevitably finds its way into what we create.

When we live with depth, life becomes richer. Meaning becomes easier to recognize. Possibilities open. And perhaps most importantly, these values are what hold us together as human beings. They carry us forward through hardship, through growth, and through the cycles of life itself.

I hope, in some small way, that art can reflect this richness. That even simple things — a drawing, a sculpture, a quiet gesture — can remind us of the depth available in the world around us.

Because in the end, values — both in art and in life — are what give everything meaning.

The Toll It Takes

There’s a problem with my life.

I have commitments. A lot of them.

I’m a father to a two-year-old daughter who completely owns my heart. I’m a husband. I’m the handyman fixing whatever breaks around the house. I’m a factory worker stuck on what feels like indefinite overtime. And somewhere in that list — sometimes barely hanging on — I’m also a stone carver.

And if something has to go, it’s always that last title sitting on the chopping block.

The doubt creeps in constantly. Am I even good enough? All it takes is a few broken tools, a round of maintenance and cleanup, and then another brutally hard stone that takes three times longer to carve than expected — and suddenly the whole effort feels impossible.

Most nights the work happens when no one else is around. After a ten-hour shift, after the house quiets down, I’ll drag myself toward the studio with a cup of coffee for courage. Sometimes I get an hour in. Often it’s less. If I were being honest, the time I spend making art is usually borrowed directly from sleep.

In other words, my art is carved out of exhaustion.

That kind of life has a cost. It throws balance out the window. I’ve put off basic things — doctor’s appointments, the maintenance of my own body — the way someone ignores the oil light in their car for too long. I used to run to keep myself grounded, to work out the stress and the aches. That’s fallen away too.

Fun? I’m not even sure what that looks like anymore.

So sometimes I look at this situation and ask myself: what exactly is this all for?

If the goal were money, it would be a terrible trade. The tools alone cost more than the work brings back most of the time. I’ve invested in equipment simply to make the process faster — trying to squeeze creation into the cracks of a life that’s already overflowing.

Financially, it doesn’t make sense.

But there’s something else that keeps me going.

A small, stubborn glimmer of hope that what I’m trying to say through the stone actually matters. That the message buried in these pieces will reach someone. That the time and effort — the literal blood, dust, and aching joints — might carry some kind of meaning beyond the object itself.

Maybe something bordering on spiritual worth.

That hope is thin sometimes, but it’s enough to keep the tools moving.

Because when you commit to making something real, you can’t always measure the value immediately. You just keep carving and trust that somewhere along the line, the work will justify the sacrifice.

At least, that’s the hope.

Because if I’m honest — on nights when the exhaustion hits hardest — I still find myself asking the same question:

Is it worth it?

I truly hope it is.